Monday, December 15, 2014

Modest Proposal (Two posts)

It's a shame that countries in the European Union are troubled with poverty at a massive scale. There are individuals in the streets, the roads, and the alleys of P.I.I.G.S. (Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, and Space) nations who must beg for alms in a disgraceful, public manner. These people have no alternative than to turn to meander aimlessly to tourist attractions in dreadful attire. They are often times famished and spend time begging rather than looking for a job to sustain their families in addition to themselves. As they grow, these children are destined to lives of misery and poverty. Perhaps a pickpocket or a mugger, no good would come from such a pathetic lifestyle. Any man or woman who could dare to resolve this crisis taking practicality into account would not only be know as a preserver of the region, be an international hero for years to come. Their legacy would outlive their lifespan tenfold.

Even while the European Union is plagued by this issue on the home-front, the Union seeks to add another country. Turkey, a nation permeated by a level of poverty and instability akin to that of a European P.I.I.G.S. nation is currently a candidate for entering the Union. Regardless of poverty levels, Turkish culture clashes with the culture of Europe as a whole for a simple reason: it is outside of Europe geographically. My intentions seek to go beyond that of acting to alleviate poverty, I seek to improve the overall economy, culture, and leadership of the continent of Europe as a whole.

My modest proposal is the quintessential plan which equates to the greatest degree of success for Western society. Since the European Union seeks to add Turkey to its member nations, why not just add the United States and Russia to the Union as well? 

This humble solution would also alleviate poverty in the region as Americans would be able to expand fast food chains even further, spreading the ideal American diet further across the globe while employing local Europeans that would otherwise be struck by poverty. The fact that Europe and Russia are separate entities from Europe is irrelevant as Turkey is as well. In order to persuade the government of Russia to join, Vladimir Putin should become the head of the European Union. He would certainly manage the Union better and create opportunity for increased liberty amongst European citizens. My simple proposition would also allow Russia to resolve all bothersome unrest with Soviet satellite states by granting the nation the right to annex land.

In terms of culture, I humbly suggest that the decision to include the United States in the European Union would improve the overall poverty stricken backwards culture of Europeans. American poverty levels are so low and the society is so accepting, they might as well send the impoverished there! Since American society is so progressive unlike that of the Europeans, they should conform to American norms to modernize. Europeans should adopt plastic surgery into their lifestyles in order to shift away from their archaic standards of beauty. Their primitive society should normalize the female removal of all body hair as well in order to conform to the superior and more natural American standard. Europeans should embrace American cuisine as its affordability, nutrients, and accessibility would surely stabilize the weight of the gaunt poor. The genetically modified food would modernize conservative Europeans who insist of consuming their practically primeval organic food.

My unassuming motion seeks to modernize the economy of European nations into that of the more productive and generally superior American job market. The adoption of genetically modified food would not only stabilize the weight of the impoverished, but also expand productivity. Genetically modified food is quicker to farm than that of the practically primal organic sustenance. Russian practices in the labor force would revolutionize the European economy. Surely their diminished worker’s rights would increase European productivity as perilously needed!

American and Russian society fosters the growth of individualism and creativity in public education so why not simply replace European education practices with that of the United States and Russia? This meek overture would revolutionize the antiquated educational institutions that prevail in the traditional areas of Europe. It ordains the advancement of youth in terms of artistic capability and individuality through the amount of standardization both Russia and the United States cherishes. 

It is possible superior propositions exist, however, none are as exceptional as my own. I proclaim with my utmost certainty and confidence that this meek proposal is the best course of action the Western world can currently take. I do not seek to simply achieve recognition globally, I sincerely aspire that my humble outline would resolve the issues detailed above and change the world forever. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Court orders France to pay damages to Somali pirates

The European Court of Human Rights has said that France has violated the rights of Somali pirates who had attacked French ship and has ordered compensation for them over judicial delays. They claim that the nine Somali pirates should get thousands of euros in compensation due to the fact that they were not immediately brought before a French judge.


Judges fault France for keeping the pirates in custody for an extra 48 hours. They had held French citizens hostage after seizing a French-flagged cruise ship and a French yacht in 2008. Eventually, the French military captured these pirates on the Somali coast after the hostages had been released for ransoms of $2.1m and $2m. 

Typically, Indian Ocean shipping had been tormented by pirate gangs but recently international naval action in the region has reduced attacks, effectively boosting sales for all involved parties. Officials may have been neglecting the rights of the pirates as a whole simply to improve their own nation's economy.

The extra 48 hours the pirates spent in custody on French land violated their rights to liberty and security according to the court's ruling. Regardless if these individuals are pirates, they deserve the decency of only being held as long as they possibly need to be. This fact stands especially in the European Union as they violated the European Convention on Human Rights and thus they actually had a precedent for the situation. Even if the increased trade revenue thing is my personal speculation, it may actually be linked to a motive for increased militirization in the Indian Ocean region.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

EU Court blocks gay asylum tests

The European Union's top court has ruled that refugees who claim political asylum in Europe on the grounds that they are homosexual should not have to undergo tests to prove it. Three men, including a    Ugandan failed for their bids for asylum when a Dutch court claimed they hadn't proved their sexual orientation.


 EU states including the United Kingdom have been criticized for their handling of gay asylum requests. Taking into account modern human rights, the European Court of Justice (ECJ) says they must honor human dignity. These rulings apply to all EU member states. The decision is significant across the European Union as a result of a surge in numbers of sub-Saharan Africans seeking refuge in Europe this year as they had been prosecuted in their home countries. Czech authorities had previously been an erection or "phallometric" tests, a practice dating back to communist times in order to determine whether asylum seekers were in fact homosexual. 

While authorities can can interview an asylum seeker to find our about their sexual orientation, they could not be questioned concerning their sexual activity. If an individual fails to sufficiently answer questions concerning their sexuality, it would not be probable cause to reject their credibility. The ECJ ruled last year that gay asylum seeker who had been prosecuted could in fact claim refugee status in response to another Dutch case. 

The fact that these individuals are being protected, regardless if their privacy had been breached speaks to how far Western society has progressed from primitive homophobia. Despite this progress that should be acknowledged, areas in the world such as regions in Africa and the Middle East still primitively prosecutes homosexuals, a practice that needs to be actively phased out. The United States should adopt similar policies to those that have been adopted in the EU that take into account the rights of the LGBT community. Transgender individuals should also be allowed to seek asylum in the European Union and the United States in order to fully take into account modern human rights.